PAIRED TO $USO · STONKFUN
HOG
a fat pig on a hog.
he doesn't stop. he doesn't signal. he burns the oil and has never once paid for it.
CA
coming soonclick + hold to rev him
03:14 AM · pump 4
He doesn't stop for gas.
he stops for snacks. he leaves the pump running. the oil goes in, the bill never comes out.
STOP N GO #0004
03:14 AM · PUMP 4
03:14 AM · PUMP 4
PUMP 4 FUEL$0.00
HOT DOG (ROLLER) x14$27.86
JERKY, WHOLE WALL$212.40
SLUSHIE XL x2$5.98
NACHO CHEESE (THE PUMP)$4.00
MOTOR OIL x4ON THE HOUSE
PORK RINDSDECLINED
TOTAL$250.24
PAIDNO
THANK YOU COME AGAIN
(he will)
(he will)
owner's manual · page 1 of 1
Spec sheet.
VEHICLE ID PLATE · DO NOT REMOVE
- Make
- HOG
- Model
- HOG
- Engine
- one pig, air-cooled
- Weight
- yes
- Top speed
- wherever the food is
- Runs on
- $USO, never paid
- MPG
- never asked
- Helmet
- no
- License
- expired 2004
- Paired
- $USO
- 1Ears · decorative, do not listen
- 2Squint · permanent
- 3Drool · factory option
- 4Jacket · never washed
- 5Belly · standard equipment
- 6Ape hangers · to reach the snacks
- 7Headlight · for finding food at night
- 8Hoof · on the peg, never the brake
the pack
He doesn't ride alone.
every holder is another hog behind him. they don't signal either.
Join the pack →objects in mirror are hungrier than they appear
rules of the road
The hog code.
- 1Never pay for gas.
- 2Never wear a helmet.
- 3The left lane is his.
- 4If it's fried, it's his.
- 5Never sell the bike.
painted on every mile of his road. he can't read them. he doesn't need to.
the only exit is the on-ramp
$HOG
a fat pig on a hog, paired to $USO on StonkFun.
CA
coming soonnever sell the bike.